Back by Popular Demand

I know many of you have been anxiously awaiting my next blog post, since the last one was a mere five months ago. Well wait no more, my friends! I'm fired up, and I'm gonna tell you about it.

I've been contemplating the term "misanthrope" and how it might be starting to apply to me. It seems I have become very frustrated with the selfishness/self-serving attitude that seems to prevail in our culture that I am becoming generally miffed with the human race (except of course for me and people I happen to like). What is it with people making it all about them, especially when they know that by benefiting themselves they will be causing much more damage to the rest of the world??

Case in point: I saw a nature show today where a polar bear starved to death on camera because there was not enough ice for him to use as a hunting platform. He got so hungry that, in an act of desperation, he tried to kill a two-ton walrus. Well that didn't work, no surprise, and the last we saw of the poor boy was him falling asleep and the narrator saying he was going to starve to death.

I don't need to tell you, this broke my heart. I wanted to go out there with a bit white styrofoam block, pull him up on it, and take him to the prime seal-hunting grounds. Does this make me a bleeding heart? Probably. Too much of a softy? Guilty, especially when it comes to animals. But I digress.

This next made me think of Melvin Neufeld, the Kansas legislator who is fighting to get another coal-fired power plant built in our state in the exact area where wind energy is among the best in the world: Western Kansas. It makes me sick what people like Neufeld are doing: he has conceded the point that coal power causes global warming, going so far as to say that global warming is a good thing because it will allow longer growing season of Kansas crops. Neufeld is doing this because he's getting money from the power company to keep him in the legislature, and because he thinks it will bring in maybe 1,000 jobs.

But at what cost? Does Neufeld not care that putting in this old-school CO2 belching technology is literally killing our planet's animal diversity? Apparently not. It makes me want to throw Neufeld to that starving polar bear, which I think would be a win-win: the polar bear would have some nourishment, and we would be rid of Neufeld. Unfortunately, that polar bear is probably long since dead, and I'm not sure Neufeld would be much nourishment for anything.

Did I say fired up? That may be an understatement. As a litigator, it may be that my adversaries are taking such ridiculous positions that I'm getting tired of people being any combination of stupid, irresponsible, and selfish. Whatever it is, it's got me here typing out my first blog post in the last five months.

Okay, I take it back (sort of)...

I got in trouble yesterday after my wife read my post. She thought I was taking out my frustrations out on her (okay, maybe just a little bit), and today I am much more centered. Perhaps it is because I got a really good night's sleep last night, or perhaps it is because I just had two warm chocolate chip cookies. Mmmmm, difficult to say!! At any rate, may the world know I love my wife more than the fat kid loves the cake (or more than I love chocolate chip cookies).

We have this wonderful dog named Milo, who I think is one of the smartest animals I've ever met. The thing I find strangely comforting about young Milo (who is snuggling next to me as I write these words) is that he has just a little bit of funk about him. I don't mean Rick James funk, I mean a little booty stink. Not like he's holding one in, more like he has a natural dog scent that is pure boy dog. It's not necessarily a good smell, but after spending the last two years with us it's comforting to know that Milo is right there, even if I'm not looking at him, because one good whiff and you know he's in the same room. Strange I know, but I never claimed to be normal.

blah-ba-dee blah blah

I am ready for this election to be over. What's frustrating me, and making me want this endless campaign to end, is my increasing realization that so many people around me, whom I otherwise love and respect, have opinions that diverge from mine in so many fundamental ways that I wonder if I ever actually knew them.

Take the Obama/McCain issue. For me, it would be absolute madness to put John McCain and Sarah Palin in the White House. But for so many people, my neighbor, my family, my wife (depending on the day), McCain is the only game in town. Are you kidding me!?!?!?!?

I've spent no less than 9 months figuring out who I would vote for in this election. I read Obama's biography, I followed McCain's policies, and for awhile it was tough because my two favorite picks actually made it out of their primary. I didn't think it was really possible that both Obama and McCain would win their primaries, so I had resolved that if one made it out of the primary but the other didn't, that's who I would vote for. Of course that was before McCain morphed from his historically independent self to party-line-toeing. But anyway, they both won, and I was faced with a dilemma: which dark horse (no racism intended there) to vote for?

I won't spend useless time justifying my decision to anyone who has time to read this post, but I ultimately came down to one inexorable conclusion: that Obama, for all his faults, is the only rational choice in this election. But then so many people I see every day, people whose opinions I otherwise value highly, will never vote for Obama. And that's the precise point that has gotten under my skin and won't work it's way out: that those with whom we ordinarily feel so close can, by virtue of one single issue, make use feel like they are not the people we thought they were, but someone totally different, someone we wouldn't stop to say hello to.

Is it me valuing my own opinion too highly? Or simply taking this election too seriously? I don't know, and I wish I did, because it would make my days much better lately. But something tells me this election is putting under a microscope a simple fact of human relationships: that there are deal-breaker issues that, in and of themselves, will make us either want to be around people or want to push them away with full force. This election is one deal breaker for me (at least until all the votes are counted and Obama wins). Perhaps age will cause me to mellow and be more accepting of other's views, but that's the other deal: normally I'm a very accepting person!! Usually I can see the other side of the coin. But lately, I just can't. Maybe this presidential campaign has worked on my ability to accept views I deep down find absurd. Maybe after the "dust" has settled, I will re-center my understanding nature and go on with my happy little existence. But until then, just humor me and say you're voting for Obama. It will make me not want to scream at you.

Ugghhhh.....

Why is it that our families can drive us toward the brink of insanity, but if they give us even a small glimmer of hope we seize on it? It's like the golfer who only needs one good shot to keep him coming back next week. Or maybe it's more like the beaten wife who sees past her husband's violent nature when he ap0logizes and gives her a big hug.

I went to my mom and step-dad's house today for a birthday/wedding anniversary cookout. My mom's birthday, my brother's wedding anniversary. Both were actually on the same day last week (that my brother's wedding occurred on my mother's birthday itself speaks volumes about the underlying situation), so this weekend was an opportunity for everyone to get together and celebrate, or for my mother to introduce me to her new family.

I assumed the purpose of the event was for our family to get together and celebrate these events. I was wrong. It wasn't just "family," as the world (minus my mother) would use that term. Instead, it was my family plus five random people (who I was to learn was my mother's "extended family") with whom my mother, stepfather, brother, sister-in-law, and nephews go to church (see it coming together? They also live in the same town, no more than about four blocks from each other).

At this afternoon's suare, my mother actually referred to these random people as her "extended family," even though she chose not to invite my grandparents (her parents), or any of her three brothers, all of whom live less than ten minutes away, to this event (which I learned after asking where the rest of the family (as the world would use that term) was.)

But I digress. So there were five random college students (none of whom I had ever met) celebrating with us: talking about family events, playing with my nephews, passing the dip, serving up ice cream and cake. I had expected my brother and sister-in-law to go along with this bizarre situation, being that they ordinarily live to serve my mother, but surprisingly (and this is the one good golf shot, or the big post-beating hug) they didn't!! It made me think, for the first time in a long, long time, that not all of my family (again, using the dictionary definition) were butterfly-net whack-a-doos.

I am choosing to seize on that moment of clarity: the instant after my mom referred to one of the randoms as her "daughter" and I looked over to my sister-in-law, mouthed "daughter?" to her, and saw the understanding eyebrow raise that said "Don't ask me, I'm just here for the baked beans and Suddenly Salad".

It makes me glad I live a comfortable 25 minutes away. It may not seem like a long distance to some of you, but for me it is just far enough that I don't start referring to my front lawn privet hedge as my nieces and nephews.



Is this a thinly veiled attempt at inciting jealousy on my part, since my wife and I have intentionally separated ourselves from the rest of my family for the sake of preserving our own sanity.

The 16-pound beef ball

We have this cat, Frank, who I recently learned is the neighborhood bully. This came as a total surprise to us, because at home he is the most loving animal you will ever meet. He's probably part dog, he is so loyal. But apparently there is more than one side to young Franklin, as we learned this week. I went outside to find him and bring him inside and he had cornered another, anonymous cat under our neighbor's chair. He was growling in this unholy baritone voice, just staring down the other cat without moving. When our dog, Milo, saw what was going on he joined in the fray, chasing the other cat around the corner of our neighbor's house and causing quite a stir. After our neighbor saw what had happened (she was the first one to hear Franklin's unholy grumble) she said that Frank wastes no opportunity to fight our other neighbor's cat, Groucho. I am still surprised by Franklin's dual personality: part loving buddy, part ass beater.

You know how I know you're gay? Because you listen to Coldplay...

I don't even know what that is from, but I'll steal it anyway. So American Idol is actually interesting this year. My wife knows that bald Stacey guy, but she's not too excited about him winning. Something there she's not telling me?? Difficult to say...

Paula Abdul doesn't seem like she's using too many drugs this year, which is nice because she seems like a good person. Simon Cowell derives way too much enjoyment from being brutally honest. No subtlety there. Crazy Britons.

So what can I say about how much I like TiVo? We got it a few months ago and I swear I would give up my first born before I would let my tivo out of my sweaty clutches. Banish commercials from my life, get an hour of tv in 47 minutes, and they say God is dead. Nay!

This could easily be titled the "Stream of Consciousness" post because that is truly what it is. Not having shared my thoughts with random strangers worldwide for the past year has given me a strange sort of writer's block. Is it that I have little to say? Perhaps. Could it be that I need a sweet treat to get me started? Quite likely. Is it possible that my wife, who is sitting next to me, will read this and deliver me a delicious cookie she got for her birthday? Not a chance. But I like her anyway. Or as they say, "I love spending time with her."

I may be wrong here but I think Paula Abdul is going to make sexual relations with one of the contestants. You can just tell that she gets a bit turned on when those guys start wailing. And could they get a decent-sized stepstool for Seacrest? He's scary short. And tiny.

My predictions for the boot: Pedro and Malakar

And for those who are reading these in order (not quite likely) I passed the bar and have been practicing law for awhile. How cool am I?!

I have also bought a house and acquired animals.

Rounding out the month...

My bar class starts in about 30 minutes so I'll have to cut this short...so the cats are feeling pretty cramped here. They're always wanting to go outside when we open our apt. door, but to their dismay it's only the hallway and not the wonderful out-of-doors. Luckily for them they'll get to spend the weekend at Gilliland and be able to romp and play freely.

I'm nearly caught up on the schedule of things to do for bar prep. I got a bit behind with the move, and I think I can be back on my game no later than Tuesday, which will be nice because we have a simulated MBE exam (200 multiple choice questions). My multiple choice percentage has actually been pretty good (70-75%), so I think I'm on the right track so far.

Ok, time to brush my tooth (just the one!) and head off.

Still moving in...

We're almost finished moving in. We got a two-level California Closets shelf and a new tv stand, and I'm almost finished assembling it. Beka's going to bring our clothes and bathroom stuff over to the apt. tomorrow, and we'll bring the cats tomorrow night. I think this will be by far the best place I've lived, and I think it will be a good place to stay for the next couple of years.

Moving In

We're finally getting moved in to our new apt. We got all the boxes moved in earlier yesterday, and then finished with the furniture. It was much easier than moving into Topeka. I think we will finish unpacking and reassembling furniture tomorrow and hopefully be done by then. It will be nice to be resettled again!

Oh, and also

Tomorrow is the last quiz in my dreaded Real Estate Transactions class. Thank God. The professor, who shall remain nameless until my final grade is posted, is a total loon! Someone needs to buy him a comb so he can tame that gray nest he's got on his head.

Hey, what an idea!

So I'm taking a jump into the web publishing world with this "blog" thing. It's probably one of a million out there, but hey, what the heck...

The true function of this blog is to give me one more way of putting off studying for finals. It's working great so far. Well, that's it for now. Over and out.