Okay, I take it back (sort of)...

I got in trouble yesterday after my wife read my post. She thought I was taking out my frustrations out on her (okay, maybe just a little bit), and today I am much more centered. Perhaps it is because I got a really good night's sleep last night, or perhaps it is because I just had two warm chocolate chip cookies. Mmmmm, difficult to say!! At any rate, may the world know I love my wife more than the fat kid loves the cake (or more than I love chocolate chip cookies).

We have this wonderful dog named Milo, who I think is one of the smartest animals I've ever met. The thing I find strangely comforting about young Milo (who is snuggling next to me as I write these words) is that he has just a little bit of funk about him. I don't mean Rick James funk, I mean a little booty stink. Not like he's holding one in, more like he has a natural dog scent that is pure boy dog. It's not necessarily a good smell, but after spending the last two years with us it's comforting to know that Milo is right there, even if I'm not looking at him, because one good whiff and you know he's in the same room. Strange I know, but I never claimed to be normal.

blah-ba-dee blah blah

I am ready for this election to be over. What's frustrating me, and making me want this endless campaign to end, is my increasing realization that so many people around me, whom I otherwise love and respect, have opinions that diverge from mine in so many fundamental ways that I wonder if I ever actually knew them.

Take the Obama/McCain issue. For me, it would be absolute madness to put John McCain and Sarah Palin in the White House. But for so many people, my neighbor, my family, my wife (depending on the day), McCain is the only game in town. Are you kidding me!?!?!?!?

I've spent no less than 9 months figuring out who I would vote for in this election. I read Obama's biography, I followed McCain's policies, and for awhile it was tough because my two favorite picks actually made it out of their primary. I didn't think it was really possible that both Obama and McCain would win their primaries, so I had resolved that if one made it out of the primary but the other didn't, that's who I would vote for. Of course that was before McCain morphed from his historically independent self to party-line-toeing. But anyway, they both won, and I was faced with a dilemma: which dark horse (no racism intended there) to vote for?

I won't spend useless time justifying my decision to anyone who has time to read this post, but I ultimately came down to one inexorable conclusion: that Obama, for all his faults, is the only rational choice in this election. But then so many people I see every day, people whose opinions I otherwise value highly, will never vote for Obama. And that's the precise point that has gotten under my skin and won't work it's way out: that those with whom we ordinarily feel so close can, by virtue of one single issue, make use feel like they are not the people we thought they were, but someone totally different, someone we wouldn't stop to say hello to.

Is it me valuing my own opinion too highly? Or simply taking this election too seriously? I don't know, and I wish I did, because it would make my days much better lately. But something tells me this election is putting under a microscope a simple fact of human relationships: that there are deal-breaker issues that, in and of themselves, will make us either want to be around people or want to push them away with full force. This election is one deal breaker for me (at least until all the votes are counted and Obama wins). Perhaps age will cause me to mellow and be more accepting of other's views, but that's the other deal: normally I'm a very accepting person!! Usually I can see the other side of the coin. But lately, I just can't. Maybe this presidential campaign has worked on my ability to accept views I deep down find absurd. Maybe after the "dust" has settled, I will re-center my understanding nature and go on with my happy little existence. But until then, just humor me and say you're voting for Obama. It will make me not want to scream at you.

Ugghhhh.....

Why is it that our families can drive us toward the brink of insanity, but if they give us even a small glimmer of hope we seize on it? It's like the golfer who only needs one good shot to keep him coming back next week. Or maybe it's more like the beaten wife who sees past her husband's violent nature when he ap0logizes and gives her a big hug.

I went to my mom and step-dad's house today for a birthday/wedding anniversary cookout. My mom's birthday, my brother's wedding anniversary. Both were actually on the same day last week (that my brother's wedding occurred on my mother's birthday itself speaks volumes about the underlying situation), so this weekend was an opportunity for everyone to get together and celebrate, or for my mother to introduce me to her new family.

I assumed the purpose of the event was for our family to get together and celebrate these events. I was wrong. It wasn't just "family," as the world (minus my mother) would use that term. Instead, it was my family plus five random people (who I was to learn was my mother's "extended family") with whom my mother, stepfather, brother, sister-in-law, and nephews go to church (see it coming together? They also live in the same town, no more than about four blocks from each other).

At this afternoon's suare, my mother actually referred to these random people as her "extended family," even though she chose not to invite my grandparents (her parents), or any of her three brothers, all of whom live less than ten minutes away, to this event (which I learned after asking where the rest of the family (as the world would use that term) was.)

But I digress. So there were five random college students (none of whom I had ever met) celebrating with us: talking about family events, playing with my nephews, passing the dip, serving up ice cream and cake. I had expected my brother and sister-in-law to go along with this bizarre situation, being that they ordinarily live to serve my mother, but surprisingly (and this is the one good golf shot, or the big post-beating hug) they didn't!! It made me think, for the first time in a long, long time, that not all of my family (again, using the dictionary definition) were butterfly-net whack-a-doos.

I am choosing to seize on that moment of clarity: the instant after my mom referred to one of the randoms as her "daughter" and I looked over to my sister-in-law, mouthed "daughter?" to her, and saw the understanding eyebrow raise that said "Don't ask me, I'm just here for the baked beans and Suddenly Salad".

It makes me glad I live a comfortable 25 minutes away. It may not seem like a long distance to some of you, but for me it is just far enough that I don't start referring to my front lawn privet hedge as my nieces and nephews.



Is this a thinly veiled attempt at inciting jealousy on my part, since my wife and I have intentionally separated ourselves from the rest of my family for the sake of preserving our own sanity.

The 16-pound beef ball

We have this cat, Frank, who I recently learned is the neighborhood bully. This came as a total surprise to us, because at home he is the most loving animal you will ever meet. He's probably part dog, he is so loyal. But apparently there is more than one side to young Franklin, as we learned this week. I went outside to find him and bring him inside and he had cornered another, anonymous cat under our neighbor's chair. He was growling in this unholy baritone voice, just staring down the other cat without moving. When our dog, Milo, saw what was going on he joined in the fray, chasing the other cat around the corner of our neighbor's house and causing quite a stir. After our neighbor saw what had happened (she was the first one to hear Franklin's unholy grumble) she said that Frank wastes no opportunity to fight our other neighbor's cat, Groucho. I am still surprised by Franklin's dual personality: part loving buddy, part ass beater.